Saturday, October 08, 2005

A much better Day!! :@)

Daily Guidance 8/10/05

When you encounter a wall you should tell yourself, “Since there is a wall here, a wide, open space must lie on the other side.” Rather than becoming discouraged, know that encountering a wall is proof of the progress that you have made so far. I hope that you will continually advance in your Buddhist practice with this conviction blazing ever more strongly in your heart.
Daisaku Ikeda

It’s an amazingly warm day! Real t-shirt and shorts weather!. J I am determined to get to the new Olympic sized swimming pool over in Horsham, as my timing was a bit out yesterday.

Focusing a lot more today on my future, which feels really good. I made a determination in front of my Gohonzon this morning, to be able to go to Singapore to work, in January!! Eeky Boobsy!!……………..I am scaring myself quite a bit with that determination, but really excited too!. I would also really love to be there for Wei’s 24th B~day.

I do need to check though, when the project in the London Hospital, is likely to get off the ground, as that could be Feb/March time.

I also am much more focused on my own work, So that will take a lot a planning. Me and my mum were chatting earlier about the possibilities of taking my 3D photography into the realm of functions and weddings/Civil partnerships, etc. As something all the guests could receive as a small gift.

I think I could have a lot of fun with this, as it can go off in so many directions!!. I just need to source the manufacturer and get a price that makes it feasible .

I could also see that this can go hand in hand with my art projects, in documenting them and building them into the budget of the pieces of work. I really feel the need, to do a digital film editing course. Actually!! I met a woman the other week in Trets, South France, who said she would be happy to help me as she is a film maker!!.

OOH !! I could even employ her to cover that side of things, to have another perspective!.

I am also going to focus my Buddhist activities around the young men in the HQ. We all grow so much more when we are supporting one another. I feel such a deep sense of gratitude, that I am in a position to support them all, which in turn supports my life!!. Better get booking some dates in my diary!!.

I just made a lovely set of four cards, and used my glue pens an glitter, to make them extra special, for Wei, and three other friends. I can get lost in doing that kind a stuff, so I have to watch the time. I am going to start sorting out the loft today as I have so many things. A couple of boxes of Gay magazines to start with. ( no not porno mags, although gay mags do tend to get a bit x~rated) I look forward to the day when gay magazines can celebrate the diversity of being gay, without feeling the need to stick in every rent boy, and sex club. I think this is changing, but so many gay people do define them self by their sexuality.

I think though as laws are passed to treat gay people equally, as an effect of the people bushing for this need, then this will become a more natural process. If you go to any gay bar around the world at the moment, you do tend to get a lot of sex literally rammed down your throat!. Sometimes that’s great, and sometimes it isn’t appropriate. That’s just my feelings on it. I liked the piece that Wei has on his Blog about Gay teenagers in America, in Time Magazine!. Nice one Wei!xx

The boxes and swimming pool are calling!!

X@X@ :p

Friday, October 07, 2005

BaBu!!

Hi Wei just doin a test as I just tried to post a comment again on the gay teens feature and couldn't do it. I did manage to post my first entry on my new blog, which was a relief!!.
X@X@@X Jonny

7/10 05 My Day!

Daily Encouragement 7/10/05

What will the future be like? No one knows the answer to that question. All we know is that the effects that will appear in the future are all contained in the causes that are made in the present. The important thing, therefore, is that we stand up and take action to achieve our great objectives without allowing ourselves to be distracted or discouraged by immediate difficulties.
Daisaku Ikeda
Wow what relevant guidance for today!!

Well Wei you have inspired me to write some of my thoughts down on my spanking new Blog!!

Since Wei went back to Singapore, I have been battling against so much pain and emptiness Like someone had taken all my happiness away from me.

I have been amazed t the depth of feeling that we have had for each other. I have been asking myself?? Is Love enough? I deeply Love Wei and I believe that he still loves me too, but at times it can be hard to be together, He is such an intellectual and I am an Artist.

I think most of my battles, take place in my head. I really love being with him, but I also need to enjoy being without him too.

I know it’s really stupid cos we have a lot of fun together, but I have really had to battle today with real feelings of inadequacy. I just did some strong chanting to really see and feel the greatness of my life. The really good thing to have come out of all this, is that it has been like a big kick up the bum to my life!! J .

Today has also been really freeing. I really saw how I have just been a bit of a passenger in my life rather than the driver!! Eek, oh no how could I be so foolish. I don’t really have the answer to that other than life being a constant unravelling of who we really are so from a positive view point, I have done a lot of unravelling today!!

It feel really refreshed in lots a ways!! I got on top of my accounts and all of my yeas filing. I wnet down town and got a couple of cd wallets to condense all my cd’s down. I e~mailed Wei about looking into the possibility of importing paper lanterns from Singapore. I e~mailed a 3D card company about having my own images produced.

I had a really exciting conversation with Tony, the 3D expert from the Wide Screen centre in London, who told me all about existing 3D programmes for the pc, as well as numerous ways to film in3D and view it. It was like having my dreams come true, just listening to him.

So I have been really battling today, but because of it, I have felt a lot more hope!!

I have realised that I have to be a lot more organised to be able to make the dreams I have a reality.

Wow!! Mikey just called me to have a chat about importing things and paying VAT on it. I asked him if I could design anything for his xmas range , and he has asked if I would design him a large poster for a show in Paris with a best of British theme!!.

Open the door and go through it and the view is quite different.

I think that’s enough for today. I will try and post my thoughts regularly, and pieces tht I read tht inspire me.

Oh yes a nice e I got today was from my new friend Davide, he asked me if there was any difference between a hug, a cuddle and an embrace, he is Italian, I said, a hug can be with friends and is least intimate, a cuddle is more often expressed between families close friends and boy friends. I said that an embrace was probably the most passionate of all. Well I am am abit of a master when it comes to the realm of cuddles!! J